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| It was so hard to tell you I wanted nothing to do with you...when everything inside of me was telling you to come back. I hope I don't regret this. | | |
| This is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do,but i know it's for the best. Everytime you text me and beg for me back I have to try with everything in me not to tell you the same. I know you aren't whats best for me. When you tell me how much you miss me and need me,I automatically feel bad for you. But I shouldn't. After the things you have put me through and you never once have cared. I think it's best if I just ignore every text you send me. I'm not SURE where my heart is. It's not with you...and it's not really with him...where is it?!? I'm not sure I even have one anymore. Obviously I have one,but emotionally I think my heart checked out a long time ago. I'm not sure what to do. I want you,but you are not what is best for me. I tried it,and you fucked your once chance up. I can never go back,no matter how much I love you. | | |
| I'm not strong enough to do this. I need him so badly.I hate myself for loving you. I remember the days we spent together
Were not enough
And it used to feel like dreamin'
Except we always woke up
Never thought not having you
Here now would hurt so much
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| Who was I kidding? I knew I wouldn't be able to let the the past go. It weighs on me like a ton of bricks. | | |
| So it's a new year. I'm usually not too thrilled about a new year passing me by,but this year I don't mind it too much. I have made a huge new years resolution for myself,to let go. Let go of everything that has happened in the past year and other things in the past. The past is the past. There is a reason for what happened. Six months ago,if you told me I would feel like this,I would have told you,you were crazy. Just looking back on my old enteries. I was so upset. I was so confused. I was so lonely. I was so heart broken. It really hurts me that I let someone destroy me,but I'm okay! I'm such a stronger person that I could ever imagine. If I didn't go through this,I don't think I would know how to handle future relationships. Grante,I haven't really been up to date anyone really but I'm hoping 2009 will change that. I'm hoping to make some new friends. I need to let go of the ones who have back stabbed me this year. I'm hopefully going to find a good boyfriend,one that won't do what he did. And If I don't,then so be it! I realize this year,that I DON'T need a boyfriend to make me happy. I really don't. The past few months I've focused on myself,and how to make myself a better person. I have so much self respect now. I am comfortable with who I am. And I know what I deserve,and I won't settle for anything less! I'm really excited to start school. Finally do something I've always wanted to do. It's like something being lifted off of my chest. I'm finally being proactive about my life. It's about time. I'm done being upset. I'm done wonder why. It is what it is. I'm going to delete most of these enteries. I'm wiping my slate clean. A new year to make things better. I'm going to be okay :] | | |
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